see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
