Can Purell be used as lube?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
