Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
they need to just BURY HIM!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
