I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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