Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize
