Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
