Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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