did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
