Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
