Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
