Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
