Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
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I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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