You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
