Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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