I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
