I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
