went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
