I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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