we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize