Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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