All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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