I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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