Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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