I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
