No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
