I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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