I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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