I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize