They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
