How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
