So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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