I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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