I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm too high and old for this...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
