Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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