i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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