You're a womanizer and a bitch.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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