I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."