it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
