tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
