We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
she peed on how many people?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot