wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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