I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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