Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
