I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
