dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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