i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
