I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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