This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
