Only a mothe r could love this liver
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she told me i tasted like america
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
