I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
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Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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