i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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