you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
