Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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