sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
