their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
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She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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