well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
