what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i think my cat just said my name.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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