I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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