I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
