I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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