At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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