I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize