i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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